Wow! It has taken me many years to figure out you are the real deal. Thank you for hanging by my side even though I thought you were as legitimate as the tooth fairy. You have given me strength and courage ever since I started to get to know you. I started reading about your life and watching bible teachings on late night TV. You were one cool Jew.
I have been thinking about the day we meet face to face and I hope I have enough points to get into heaven. I wish got to know you earlier in life when my body was still in condition to physically help others. It is so frustrating to be filled with the light of the Holy Spirit which is driving me to act as you have, but I am in a body that can't. So I am struggling to do what I can in my circumstance. Please let me know if you have any great ideas. Maybe I could fulfill this need by becoming a guardian angel. Feathers aren't really in style right now, but I do look great in white and ivory.
Now if I do get the golden ticket into Heaven, I have a few curious questions. Do I haven't access to dead celebrities? I love Queen Elizabeth the first. She was an amazing ginger and I would love to meet her. Also doctor King, Mozart, and Anna Nicole Smith. Oxyclean had a huge impact on my laundry and I would love to thank Billy Maze. Could I please be skinny in the afterlife, but I want to always feel full? A size four with long curly hair and a fashionable wordrobe like Carrie Bradshaw's (you know her, from Sex and the City), that would be the ideal self image. Does the Chipotle franchise extend to heaven? I would give my left leg for a steak burrito. I know that may not be much since my legs don't work to begin with. You must be a fan because it is one of the greatest ideas God gave to man.
When it is warm white light time, can my dad be there? And if there is enough room Auntie Di should be there too. I heard heaven can look like any place we want. If that is true, I would love my heaven to look just like Kuiai. This is the most peaceful place on earth. I would spend eternity swimming with sea turtles and hiking to waterfalls. I think sometimes we humans forget about this beautiful planet you created for us and we simply take it for granted.
Thanks for hearing me out and tell Carla hello. You're forever my homeboy! Much love.
PS I finally found my very own Jesus action figure on E-bay. Winning!